Sunday, 3 February 2008
Warning! Warning! Warning! Optimism Alert! Optimism Alert!
Fallout 2, the 1998 sequel to the underground cult hit Fallout, holds my record for longest time spent playing a game. No seriously. I have not played any other game for longer than Fallout 2. Halo? No. Goldeneye? No. Zelda: The Ocarina of Time? No. Grand Theft Auto? No. Crysis? No. Half Life 2? No.
I mean the level of nostalgia both titles invokes is monumental. Remember the Cafe of Broken Dreams? How about K-9? The bridge of death anyone? How about the Holy Hand Grenade? What about Smiler? Remember freeing the slaves from Metzer? Wasn't listening to the Hubologist guest speakers funny? Wasn't it moving when you return to the NCR to find the little girl from the first game running the town but now 80 years old? The list is absolutely endless!!!
What's that you say?
You've never played the second game?
Well what about the original? The game that defined a genre? The game that started it all?
WHAT!!! You hadn't even HEARD of the Fallout series untill Bethesda annouced they would make Fallout 3!
But... but...surely...... WAIT, wait a minute; how about the Vault Dweller? You know the guy in the blue jumpsuite with Vault 13 written on the back? Surely you remember seeing him? Maybe even in a magazine?
WHAT!!! NO!!! THE... VAULT DWELLER... IS NOT... CALLED... GORDON FREEMAN!!!!!! (Suppresses growing rage.) Ok...ok, ok how about Mr. Pip Boy ? You know, that cute little chappy that pops up in your Pip Boy all the time?
(Repeating what he just heard.) WHAT...IS... A... PIP BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Head explodes.)
You see now? Fallout 3 is my most anticipated game for years, hell it even tops Crysis. I've played the originals for hundreds of hours, i gave Interplay my hard earned cash and, not wanting to sound to much like a Star Wars fan, NO-ONE knows more about the Fallout Universe than me?
But Bethesda are not making Fallout 3 for me? No. They're making it for Joe "Casual Gamer I Buy One Game A Year And Make My Decision Purely On Hype I Have No History With The Game Think Pc Gaming Is Half Life And Nothing Else Am 14 Years Old And Can't Even Spell Fallout Let Alone Tell You What It Means Is Gordon Freeman The Pip Boy" Smith.
And you know what?
It makes me sick.